


Shuffle Challenge: Sweeney Todd Edition

by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)



Category: Sweeney Todd (2007), Sweeney Todd - Sondheim/Wheeler
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Crack, Gen, Humor, Mentioned Canonical Character Death, Old Fic, Shuffle Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:49:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25191943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Lamia%20of%20the%20Dark
Summary: 10 songs, 10 drabbles. Written under standard Shuffle Challenge rules.
Kudos: 2





	Shuffle Challenge: Sweeney Todd Edition

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written and posted on fanfiction.net in 2010, when I was doing a lot of Shuffle Challenges as a writer's-block-busting exercise.
> 
> Unlike most of them I didn't pick a pairing or theme, just went with the fandom in general. This one turned out mostly crack as a result.

~ Shuffle Challenge: Sweeney Todd Edition ~

\- Three Days Grace, "Animal I Have Become" -

Covered in blood, crooning "precious rubies" to his only friends - his razors.

Benjamin Barker wouldn't have recognized the monster that his old self had become.

But Benjamin Barker was dead. There was only Sweeney Todd now.

Mrs. Lovett did nothing to change this notion. She simply played along with his declaration that his old self no longer existed...

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me? Nobody can change this animal I have become._

* * *

\- Megadeth, "Vortex (Alternate Version)" -

Revenge is a downward spiral, like the helix of DNA, two parallel stands, spiraling downward to their mutual doom...

Sweeney Todd killed Judge Turpin in the end, but dragged himself down to Hell in the process.

* * *

\- Megadeth, "Symphony of Destruction (Demo Version)" -

THEY ALL DESERVE TO DIE!

~slice~

Repeat. Endlessly.

* * *

\- From Autumn to Ashes, "Take Her To The Music Store" -

"Mrs. Lovett, your songs suck! Let's go buy you some new ones! At the music store!"

* * *

\- Fear Factory, "2 Late" -

She knew she should have...

... but by then it was already too late.

* * *

\- Fear Factory, "Big God- Raped Souls" -

Mrs. Lovett and Sweeney Todd had, of course, never been physically molested by Judge Turpin - not like Lucy and Johanna.

Yet still, somehow just being in in the judge's presence made them feel dirty... as if their souls had been raped.

* * *

\- Shadows Fall, "Final Call" -

"Nothing's going to harm you, not while I'm around," she sang into the slimy sewer corridors. "Nothing's going to harm you, Toby, not while I'm around."

She sang, as they were coming to kill him.

"Toby!" Sweeney called out.

The boy might have been tempted if not for the barber being there.

* * *

\- Rammstein, "Engel" -

 _God knows I don't want to be an angel_.

"Hell is a lot more RED than I thought it would be," Mrs. Lovett commented. "Right, Mr. T?"

"Shut up, before I kill you again."

"You can't kill the dead."

"I bet I can. This IS Hell, after all. I'm sure you can die... everyone here deserves it after all..."

* * *

\- From Autumn to Ashes, "Pioneers" -

After killing the beadle and the judge, they ran away in the middle of the night, boarded a ship to America, and became pioneers...

* * *

\- Madonna f/ Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, "4 Minutes" -

Pirelli was DAMN annoying.

Sweeney barely had enough time to stuff the idiot's body in the trunk before the SECOND most annoying person London burst into the room babbling about a tailor's appointment...

~end~

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:
> 
> Animal I Have Become: Line at the end in italics is a lyric quote.
> 
> Symphony of Destruction (Demo Version): I don't know why my shuffle likes Megadeth so much. I didn't know I had a demo version of a song that I already have the album version. I need to go through everything and delete some shit. ~~(ha ha, the computer I was talking about in the original fic notes is long dead and there is almost no music saved to my current Chromebook because it doesn't have a lot of storage space.)~~
> 
> Take Her To The Music Store: When I saw this song title come up, I almost shat myself.
> 
> 2 Late: This was like, a trance/techno song, which is a major departure from the band's normal (metal) sound. Something about the way the song sounded made me want to keep this short and vague.
> 
> Big God - Raped Souls: A more perfect song for Turpin could not have popped up. I cackled. ~~(The original fic note says "I lol'd." It was 2008, leave me alone.)~~
> 
> Engel: Line in italics at the beginning is a translated lyric.
> 
> Pioneers: Standard alternate ending. The song itself is pure annoying noise. I think I hate this band, and will delete all their songs from my media library. (Update: I did delete all their songs from my computer back in 2008. They were on there because my brother recommended them to me. Of course, that was three computers ago and right now I only have a Chromebook, which has very limited storage, so there's almost no music saved to my hard drive at all.)


End file.
